If I had one wish, then it would be

...a Snuggie and a booklight for you and me.

I still remember the first time I saw a commercial for a Snuggie. I was at my parent's house. I couldn't wait to see it a second time. After my third viewing, I had uncontrollable envy. I wanted a Snuggie. I wanted one really bad. I told everyone that a Snuggie was on the top of my Christmas list. The best part was that it was a gift that would give back. For $19.95, this gift giver could get a Snuggie for me and keep one for himself. Better yet, two other lucky souls could receive the included free booklights. Who would pass up a deal like that?

Everyone.

That's right. No one got me a Snuggie for Christmas. Fortunately, I was in Florida for Christmas, so my disappointment was hard to dwell on.

Well, I'm not the only American with Snuggie dreams. Check out this article in the USA Today.
That's right. Four million Snuggies sold to date. View these Americans sporting their Snuggies on Flikr.

There are over 300 YouTube videos about Snuggies. This is one of my favorites.



The moral of the story is that I still want one. I would be so popular, and I feel like all my wildest dreams will come true. Graduation is coming up in May. Order one for me today!
(You can pick the color. I'd be happy with any one of the three options.)

I'm in love

...with a new website.

alphaDictionary

Our first date was the link to an article originally printed in The New Yorker. How I Met My Wife caused this geeky girl the giddiness to commit to a serious relationship. We've been together ever since.

Thanks, Amy, for introducing us.

What free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage

Text of President Barack Obama's inaugural address on Tuesday, as prepared for delivery and released by the Presidential Inaugural Committee.

OBAMA: My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land — a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America — they will be met.

On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn.

Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions — that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act — not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. All this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them — that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works — whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. Those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account — to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day — because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control — and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart — not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our founding fathers ... our found fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all the other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort — even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to the suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment — a moment that will define a generation — it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence — the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed — why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent Mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet (it)."

America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Thank you. God bless you. And God bless the United States of America.

A title that means more to me than any other

The most enlightening statements for me were:

"The other system is based on the conviction that freedom is the universal gift of Almighty God and that liberty and justice light the path to peace.

"This is the belief that gave birth to our nation. And in the long run, advancing this belief is the only practical way to protect our citizens. When people live in freedom, they do not willingly choose leaders who pursue campaigns of terror. When people have hope in the future, they will not cede their lives to violence and extremism. So around the world, America is promoting human liberty, human rights, and human dignity."

...

"Like all who have held this office before me, I have experienced setbacks. There are things I would do differently if given the chance. Yet I have always acted with the best interests of our country in mind. I have followed my conscience and done what I thought was right. You may not agree with some tough decisions I have made. But I hope you can agree that I was willing to make the tough decisions."

...

"America must maintain our moral clarity. I have often spoken to you about good and evil. This has made some uncomfortable. But good and evil are present in this world, and between the two there can be no compromise. Murdering the innocent to advance an ideology is wrong every time, everywhere. Freeing people from oppression and despair is eternally right. This nation must continue to speak out for justice and truth. We must always be willing to act in their defense and to advance the cause of peace. "

...

"This is a nation that inspires immigrants to risk everything for the dream of freedom."

...

"It has been the privilege of a lifetime to serve as your president. There have been good days and tough days. But every day I have been inspired by the greatness of our country and uplifted by the goodness of our people. I have been blessed to represent this nation we love. And I will always be honored to carry a title that means more to me than any other: citizen of the United States of America.

"And so, my fellow Americans, for the final time: Good night. May God bless this house and our next president. And may God bless you and our wonderful country. "

Wake me up before you go go

I've been using my cell phone as my alarm this since summer. I found toward the end of this last semester that I'd had enough. The limited number of ring tones that came with my most recent phone were incredibly annoying and even caused some anxiety. I didn't want to start my day out that way anymore. I decided to go back to what had worked for years and years prior: an inexpensive alarm clock. I picked one up the next time I was at Target.
The first night I used it, I set my cell phone alarm just in case. I wondered which would be more effective at waking me up.

(Not actual alarm clock purchased, but it would've been had it been available.)

Which was more effective? Neither.
What did get me up and out of bed? The unignorable and unsuppressable (two words that I'm not sure exist) urge to urinate. Now if I could only figure out how to make that happen every morning, I'd never be late for anything again.

And miles to go before I sleep

I had a wonderful holiday break from school. I did more than I ever imagined was possible in such a short time period. Like or not, school starts again tomorrow.

Friday, December 19: Neil Diamond concert in Salt Lake City

Saturday, December 20: Shopping (ugh! I don't like it, but I had to pass the time until my friend got off work.) I did find a beautiful framed print by Simon Dewey that I gave to my Aunt Angie on Christmas Eve.
Later that night: Dinner and a movie in Pleasant Grove/Lindon/American Fork

Sunday, December 21: I attended Music and the Spoken Word with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Orchestra at Temple Square, and the Bell Choir. This was the first time I have ever been to a performance or meeting in the Conference Center and the first time I've ever heard the MoTab live. It was amazing. The most exciting part was that President Monson attended as well. When he was leaving, he waved at me...and everybody else.
I attended a random ward in Murray and I swear I saw Shawn Bradley. I could be wrong.
I went back to my friend's house and have an amazing conversation with her.
My friend, Scott, called and invited me to come to Temple Square in Salt Lake to hear his father sing with a local choir. I spent the evening with Scott and his family. The girls kicked trash at Pictionary.

Monday, December 22: I met with Dr. Eula Monroe at BYU and discussed a current case study I am working on as well as future professional development in math education. Our meeting was only 1 1/2 hours.
When I got back to my car, at least three inches of snow had accumulated. I was nervous to drive home, but my family awaited my return. We were going to exchange Christmas gifts and then I would jump in the Jeep with my mom and sister for our journey to St. George.
I encountered some weather: snow, hail, snow, snow, rain, sunshine, snow, rain. I stopped counting at 18 cars that had spun off the road.
Early evening: My mother, sister, and I left on our journey. I thought I had left the storms behind me.
Instead of driving East to Page on down, we decided it would probably be safer to drive Southwest to Las Vegas and even into the edge of California. We took an obscure highway that was surrounded by giant Joshua trees. I wish I could've seen them during the daylight. It was a very eerie road with few other travelers. I freaked my mom and sister out by shutting off the headlights occasionally. Of course, I imagined each time I turned them back on a person would be standing in front of the car. My imagination gets the best of me sometimes.
At 10pm, we stopped for gas and my mother insisted that she drive and I get some sleep so that I could drive the early morning hours. I did as I was told, but woke up only a little over an hour later. I sit up to find that we are surrounded by snow. It was the craziest snow storm I've ever been in. This part of the journey will likely get it's own post.

Tuesday, December 23
By sun up, we made it out of the storm. We drove through New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, caught Memphis Tennessee, and stopped in Tupelo, Mississippi. We had planned to make it there by early afternoon, but we didn't arrive until 2am. We stayed in a cheap motel.
Wednesday, December 24
The next morning we had breakfast with Papaw, my mom's father, and his wife, Mama Wilma. We left Tupelo before noon, driving through Alabama, to make it to our final destination, Marianna, Florida, in time for the Christmas Eve service at my aunt's church.
My aunt knew we were coming and so did her whole congregation. The two who didn't know were my cousins, Alex (15) and Chelsea (13). We got out of the jeep and stared at Alex who was in the back of a truck talking to a friend. She looks at us kind of funny. (It was dark by then.) She shouts "Shuuut Up!" and rushes over to us. My aunt and cousins hadn't seen my sister, Casey, in years since she was on a mission when they came out last Christmas. It was a fun surprise.
After the service, we went home and opened gifts.

Thursday, December 25
We had a lazy Christmas day. We visited with a few people but mostly stayed home. It was perfect.
That night, we (Casey, Alex, Chelsea, and I) decided to sleep on the trampoline. We didn't make it all night. It was plenty warm, but around 2am we went in because it had reached dew point. There was quite a bit of moisture in the air when we went out. It didn't take much of a drop in temperature to get soaked.

Friday, December 26
Casey arranged with our Uncle Bill to go canoeing down the Chipola River in Marianna. They had quite a bit of rain lately, so the river looked a lot different than how I remembered it.
Afterward, we headed to Panama City Beach. It was AMAZING! It was overcast. (Thank goodness. The last thing I wanted was a Christmas sunburn.) It was 73-76 degrees during the time we were there. We went shopping at a way cool outdoor mall called Pier Park.
Later that night, a friend from my aunt's church came over and we played games and watched a movie.

Saturday, December 27
We stayed in Marianna today. We bought quite a few boiled peanuts, and I bought some jewelry at a place downtown owned by my aunt's friend. I tried to purchase a Baptist hymnal from a fine Christian bookstore, but the only store in town was closed for the day by the time we got there.
Sunday, December 28
We attended the ward I went to growing up. Frankly, everything seemed the same but the people were older. After talking in the halls during Sunday School, we left town. We had to get Casey home so she could work on Tuesday morning.
We took a different route since we didn't have to go to Tupelo on the way home. We drove through Alabama, Mississippi, Louisianna, and into Texas.

Monday, December 29
We continued driving through Texas into New Mexico and Arizona. By then, we were on Interstate 40 again. The freeway looked much different during the day and not covered in snow. It was like a whole new world.
When we left Flagstaff, my mother had planned for us to go to Page and then to Kanab and back home. She didn't want to go over Kaibab Mountain. She told me numerous times not to go that way. As my sister would point out, I have difiancy issues. We went over Kaibab. My mom panicked, but we made it just fine. We rolled into the garage at 5pm. Thirty hours in the car. I was glad to get out.

Tuesday, December 30
To contrast my trip to Florida and the enjoyment of the beach, I went skiing at Brian Head for the first time in my life.

My Christmas break consisted of travel through California, Nevada, Utah, Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, Arkanasa, Louisianna, Mississippi, Alabama, and Florida. Twelve states in seven days. Needless to say, I wasn't quite ready to start school again on January 4.

A year of great potential

Happy New Year!
It's 2009.
This is a year of great potential and quite a bit of change. I'm excited for what is in store.

Weighing heaviest on my mind is that 2009 is the year I graduate and get a real job. Finally.
I have three weeks of course work and then I'll do my student teaching. I graduate on May 1. I can hardly believe it. It's been a long time coming.
I'm excited to graduate, but I'm also a little overwhelmed. I thought that when I figured out what I wanted to be when I grew up that the ambiguous nature of my life would dissolve and plans for the future would solidify. However, I feel like that I have opened millions more doors. I know I'll be teaching elementary school, but I have no other details figured out.
I'm almost certain that I won't be staying in Washington County.
I was sold on the thought that I was going to move some place smaller, but then I went to a professional education conference and that thought floated away. I was so enthralled by the knowledge and experience that now seems within my reach. Despite my disgust for the city life, higher education is so charming and now perceived as very much accessible.
After a conversation with my friend's mother, I was made aware of great opportunities if I would just humble myself enough to relocate to the Wasatch Front. One of my goals is to get a Math Endorsement. My friend's mother, who happens to be a professor in education at BYU, gave me the contact information for Dr. Monroe, another professor at BYU. She works with the Alpine School District in developing math education and has established a cohort of teachers to work together on their math endorsements, effective teaching strategies, and the like.
It sounded so appealing, perfect even. I would teach in the Alpine School District, get my math endorsement, and then go to graduate school at the Y after two or three years of teaching. (I would go to the Y, becuase by then I would have established good relationships with at least a couple of professors there.)
I made an appointment with Dr. Monroe for Monday, December 22. Our conversation was amazing! I gained a lot from the meeting.
Yet, I did leave a little discouraged. The grant money that was used to establish this math endorsement cohort runs out this year. The Alpine School District really wants to continue the program, but they might not be able to without secured funds. This program may be moved to another school district entirely. Or it may not happen at all.

My perfect plan is unravelling.

While I was in Florida, I was talking with a family friend. She says that there are quite a few school districts in Florida and other places down South that are hurting for teachers. They are offering all sorts of incentives; one common incentive is to pay for graduate school for interested teachers.
That sounds enticing. I had considered for a brief moment moving back to Florida. Now, I'll have to give that much more thought.

I sit here confused. I don't know where I'm going. I have a good idea of what I want, but I can achieve those goals most anywhere. BYU and the Provo area may not be so ideal any more.

I have no idea what life will be like come August. Will I be in St. George still? Will I be in Utah? What grade will I be teaching? Will I be living with roommates? Will I opt for my own place? Or might I be renting a room from family or family friends?
Right now I have too many opportunities and all seem to be positive and none seems to be better than the rest.

This is when I wish I had someone else (read: a husband) involved in the decision making. I don't need him to make the decision for me; I just need someone else's complicated life to narrow the possibilities. I need conflict. I need him to refuse to move to a certain part of the country or to have limits on where we could live because of job prospects. I need him to have ambitions and goals that may only be achieved by living in the city or the country. I need his preferences to affect my choices.

I'm excited to enter the real world and get a real job. I just never thought I'd be doing it alone. It's not that I don't think I can handle the world alone. I just fear that I'll get too accustomed to living independently that I'll miss out on the blessings of interdependence.
I do want to marry. I want to raise a family. I want all the challenges and blessings that come with those things. I want to experience that part of life. I want the joy that only comes through marriage and parenthood.
Maybe that'll happen in 2009.