Friday, July 1, 2011

Tell Me That I'm Dreaming

Lately my dreams have been enough to make me think about them the rest of the day.  Read about the jealous fleeing of my dream man here.
Two night ago, I was reading blog postings in my Google reader.  I read this post over at The Lola Letters about The Bachelorette.  I don't know much about the show having never watched it.  Her post was the last I read before falling asleep.  So of course, I had my own Bachelor(ette)-style dream.  However, the setup of my show was much different.  We didn't go on all-expense paid dates in fancy clothing with all the difficult details hashed out by some tv intern.  On my show, the women were "auditioning" to be wives of these creepy, misogynistic men.  Our first task was to mop a floor.
Yes, I said "our".  I am on the show.  Don't ask me why.  I would never in sound mind and body participate in such a show or "competition".
I am no stranger to housework, but I realized I was up against women who had worked full-time as housekeepers.  I knew I was no competition for them.  I wasn't going to win this round, so I didn't waste my energy.  I mopped the floor well enough, but I didn't obsess over it.
In the mean time, I figured out my target.  There was a man on the show with a two year-old son.  I knew I could win him over by focusing my energy on my interaction with his son.

WHOA!  I feel so gross inside as I type this.  I hope this is a reflection of how I feel about the show and not what I'd really do.  That previous paragraph says that I would manipulate someone by feigning a relationship with a child.  Revolting!
I can't finish this post.
Honestly, there wasn't much more to my dream.  Fortunately.  But regardless, I'm disgusted to think that this occurs.  People do this kind of thing.  My dream self did this kind of thing.  I've done this kind of thing.  Well, not this exact thing.
One time, in real life, a boy moved to town.  This boy soon caught the attention of several ladies, not because of his dashingly handsome good looks but because he was educated and had a real job.  (This type of guy was a rarity in the area.)  I was one of the first to talk to him and to befriend him.  And then these other girls found out about him and tried to lay claim.  I got caught up in the competition and decided, somewhat consciously, that I was going to win him over.  I charmed him in numerous ways, even feigning interest in a few things since they were among his greatest passions.  But then one day I (figuratively) stepped back and realized as quality of a guy he was, we really didn't have that much in common.  I wasn't pursuing him because I was interested.  I was pursuing him because I was determined to beat out these other ladies.  Ugh!
I'm glad I realized that when I did.  I hope and pray that I never get caught up in something fake like that again.

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